Too many balls
Ever since we have been getting a shitload of people coming, we have a number of new balls. This page will try to keep track of all of them, but there are definitely more balls than what is listed here.
The Pounder(deceased 10/28/2008)
- Don't be fooled by the happy-go-lucky SpongeBob graphic - no one smiles after getting embarrassed by The Pounder. If you're the lucky one in possession of it, you have no excuse for being a pussy. Because the ball is freaking huge, you become virtually unhittable ... unless you suck at blocking. Plus you can throw the bitch wherever you want and you won't get out (catching The Pounder doesn't cause elimination). Do not be surprised to see your opponents run away in fear while you chase them with this beast.
- The Pounder 2
- We went a full week without the Pounder after its demise until the Pounder 2 made its debut during week 47. Something about the Pounder makes the game feel whole again. Measuring in at 16 inches, this new Pounder is a worthy successor to the original Pounder.
- Blue Balls
- It may not have a catchy nickname, but this ball does the job and does it well. This ball is often overlooked compared to the other balls, which is a shame because this ball is the perfect size with the perfect grip. You can't go wrong with blue balls.
Buzz Lightyear(disappeared, date unknown)
- Another one of the favorites in the regulation ball category. Just old enough to have some punch behind the throw, but still enough grip for the fair handed pussies to not complain about it "slipping". A solid choice, a sure winner everytime. Can't say the same for you though.
Batman(deceased 10/07/2008)
- One of the originals brought to the table. Preferred by some as the most devastating regulation ball for it's unforgettable blows and unparalleled accuracy. On the other hand, if you don't like Batman then you probably don't want anything to do with this ball. But this ball's cleaning up the city and if you're seen cheating by a player and/or the Batman ball, your face will be brought to justice. RIP Batman.
- Power Ranger
- The bold regulation ball of the group. You either love it or hate it. Loved for it's faded graphics and resistance to changing with the times. Hated for it's "grease" like grip which can also double to your advantage given the right opponent trying to catch it. Choose wisely, but embrace the Power in the Ranger.
Pumpkin 1(deceased 11/04/2008)
- The newest addition to the squad, the pumpkin is quickly gaining popularity for it's good grip, and intimidating graphics. Can't bruise quite as hard as some of the OG balls, but the Pumpkin is climbing to the top and shows no signs of slowing down, except from gravity.
- Pumpkin 2
- A replica of Pumpkin 1. Pumpkin 1 is dead now.
- Yellow Balls
- Like Blue Balls, this is another no-frills ball that can easily embarrass any opponent. This ball sucks. Avoid it at all costs, bitch. I promise ... I will not die.
Misshapen Weird Ball(disappeared, date unknown)
- We're not really sure what went wrong with this ball, but it's one of the newer ones brought to the table, and also brings with it a "knuckle puck" sort of travel path whenever thrown. You never known where it's gonna go upon take off, and this can be a good or bad thing ... you decide.
- Screamin' Demon
- The Freddy Kruger of the ball squad. This ball will find you in your nightmares so don't try to run, all you can do is face it. Replacing it's predecessor formerly known as the "Bullet", the Screamin Demon' is small, dense, and will knock your teeth out given the right throw. Your only hope is if the Screamin' Demon is having a low air pressure problem, or is being thrown by a fixed gear fanatic (notorious for soft throws).
Cinder Block(deceased 11/18/2008)
- Named for it's grey color and heaviness, this ball hurts like hell when you get demolished by it. Even though it only lasted a week, this ball brought the pain. RIP Cinder Block.
- SpongeBob Orange
- Yet another SpongeBob-themed ball. This ball is relatively new to the dodgeball scene but gets the job done.
- Wal-Mart
- A suitable nickname for a ball probably purchased at Wal-Mart. It's a simple ball that smiles at you while it pummels your face. Wal-Mart sucks.